Post 54, Where Are You -or- Crying Tears Into the Morning Sky

A lot of shit has gone down since my past post, but let me take 2 steps back, and then a step or two forward and we'll see if I can't end up back in the same place. Paula Abdul, keep your whore mouth shut!

1. Kill time with someone - Check!
2. Get new plugs for my ears, as I lost one in Baltimore - Check!
3. Eat a bunch of food - Check!
4. Play some pool and have a few beers - FAIL!
5. Help Brandon hang a TV in his living room - Check (sort of.... Bedroom)


Well, that all went well... if I was a doctor that kind of performance would be totally inexcusable.. but if I was a baseball player, I'd be Hall Of Fame bound. I'm not, and I'm not. I'm just some dude who considers 4 out of 5 to be a pretty good haul, and the one I've missed is the one I care about least.

Friday. I worked. It was GREAT. Bucket came up around 3:30p and we left for my house. We stopped on the way to my house and picked up some cocktails (read: 30 pack of PBR and a fifth of Mount Gay Extra Old). We got back here and I climbed into the shower. I had a feeling that I should be less dirty than I usually am, and I'm glad I did because I would have been a mess. We left to go to Hattrick's where we met Emily, Maria, Jaime and Jeremy. We bullshitted for quite a while and had a few drinks. Bucket, Emily and I left and came to our house, then left our house in route to the grocery store. Tacos were on the menu, and probably still on the counter. I was kind of a slob this weekend... umm, and part of this week so far. We came back to the house to make and eat said tacos. Around 1am Emily left. I walked her to her car to ensure a small gang of skateboarding ruffians didn't get pepper sprayed, and I walked back to my house.

TRAGEDY STRIKES

I came inside and laid down on the couch. What I didn't know is I failed to close and latch the front door all the way. Me of all fucking people. I'm crazy about that door ever since losing my first cat and I will never know how I was not aware enough to shut my own front door.
I wake up at 8:45am and look for my kitty. I didn't see him anywhere. I started in the basement and worked my way to the attic, and then worked back from the attic and down to the basement. I was panicked, crying, helpless, scared and feeling very alone. I remember all of these things I said, and did and looking back on it, if it happened again right now I would react exactly the same. There is no concept of overreacting when something like that happens. You can't control the emotions that come rushing in, and you certainly can't control the intensity of those emotions. No one wants to feel like that, but in a sick way it was comforting to know I was still capable. I called everyone who was at my house the following day, I called Jaime, my mom, Mike and Brian. I went looking... everywhere. The surrounding blocks near my house, the highway that is 1 block away, thinking the worst...

People started calling me back and I kept looking. Finally I was walking back to my house to have another big ol' freak out, and who do I see coming to me from the bushes? Jim. Screaming. He was not happy about getting out, but was taking it seemingly better than his older brother was. I grabbed him and brought him inside and kind of collapsed on the floor with him. I was a sobby mess. It was really bad. But I found my boy, and I was really worried I would never see him again. I wish the same thing would have happened with his sister, but I haven't given up that I won't get a chance to have that reunion.

I love my friends with all of my heart. I hope they all know that I would do anything for them too. No matter how small, huge, or just fucking crazy. I would do it all with no questions asked in a heartbeat. Keep your friends as close as you can and to hell with your acquaintances.

Mike came over a little later in the afternoon and we spent some time listening to records. We left in the afternoon around 2 to go and meet Drew in the city and poke around in some record stores. I bought some records and a few CD's. I also stopped by Infinite and picked up some new plugs for my ears. They're a light red glass and 1/16" bigger than what I had before. They went in with relative ease, which made me happy. I need to remember to take them out at night so they don't wind up falling out and breaking. That will totally piss me off.

From South Philly, Mike and I said goodbye to Drew and headed over to Lincoln Financial Field. There was Gold Cup Soccer being played and we thought it might be kind of cool to check out. We were totally right. The first game was Canada vs. Honduras. Honduras won 1-0. The second game was U.S.A. vs. Panama. U.S.A. advances from that game. The semi-finals are being played right now, and I'd kind of get in to watching it. The Cubs are in town against the Phillies so I'm glued to that currently. Ted Lilly just gave up a 3 run shot... soccer is looking better. Ugh. I can't do 3 days of this.

We came home around midnight and I went to sleep.

I woke up the next morning pretty early, feeling a little bit rough from the night before... it was a rollercoaster and I was kind of a wreck towards the end of the day. Brandon came over around 2pm and we started with the TV hanging project. I'm not going into the gory details of how this all went down, but let's just say I got home at 7:45p, and I worked on hanging the TV for about 1 hour. It was mayhem. I'm glad it's over, but it was fun nonetheless.

Today, I worked. I'm now sitting here, drinking a PBR, listening to Against Me!, and watching the Cubs down 3-0 to the Phillies. I wonder what this week has up it's sleeve. I'm headed to a baseball game tomorrow night (which I fear will be rained out), and nothing planned for a while.

Goodbye.

How To Steal A Million or Post 53: Where It All Comes Together

Not entirely sure what the next few days hold in store for me. I can make a small list of things I'd like to do, you know what? Maybe I'll just do that.

1. Kill time with someone
2. Get new plugs for my ears, as I lost one in Baltimore
3. Eat a bunch of food
4. Play some pool and have a few beers
5. Help Brandon hang a TV in his living room

This seems like kind of a full weekend, I guess. I would also like to do some horsing around with my cat, watch some baseball and look into getting some new shoes. We'll see how much of this actually happens. I'm thinking I'll knock out article 1 today, and perhaps tomorrow... a guy can hope. I want it all... kill me for being selfish.

I guess I need to get to work now. This huge pile of work ain't gonna do itself. This one is short, but that will happen. I really don't have much to talk about right now. I'll come up with something for next time.

F the Home Run Derby. That is all.

Wednesday! Wednesday! Wednesday!. You'll Pay For The Whole Seat But You'll Only Need The Edge.

Damn. Flys sure do like me today, but at least that's a start. Last night Bucket came over and we sat on the porch and drank a few rum drinks. We got a bit out of line, but my friend had some blues to lose and I'm glad I could help him out. He's a good man, and guys like us are few and far between. I've somehow managed to surround myself with them, and for this I am very fortunate. Woke up with a nice burn on my knee, oops. He did the same. We wanted something to remember the night by. We got it. I've peroxided myself up and now am bandaided. Maria made me do it. Thank you Maria. My mom will be happy.

Work sure was work today. I got all kinds of tired while I was there from moving lots of furniture and going about my daily duties. I had some good ideas this morning, and wrote them down to break them out at a better time. I don't know when that will be yet, but I think I'll know when the time comes. I'll probably lose the list by then, or my ideas will change. Damn flies! They're everywhere out here.

I just found something better to do so I will cut this short. Who knows what the hell I'll wind up doing tonight. Hopefully something fun, followed by eating, and something else fun.

Goodbye Blogosphere.

49 more posts until a real milestone is reached.

What have I been up to since Insubordination Fest? I'll recap briefly and then try to some up with something to talk about. I don't know how successful I'm going to be in doing this, but I'll give it a shot.

Work hasn't been exactly spectacular, but I've got my motivations and know what I need to be better at. I had some thoughts today about work, and how things could unfold, and I'm a little creeped out by the thought of it. I'm going to do my best to make an impact in the next week and prove that the only dead part of my brain is the little distinguished gray patch up front. The other 98% works just fine, and I need to find a way to prove this. I'm not sure what this is as of right now, but I'll be damned if I don't figure it out.

I've been writing almost too much again lately. Trying to keep a couple of journals on my computer to empty my brain into and slow down the whirlwind of thought that is taking place in my 10% active brain. Topics are all over the place, but after I get finished I feel a strong sense of relief for at least a couple of hours. I feel like I'm typing the same shit over and over again but figuring out different ways of saying it. I've also started writing somewhat "creatively" or at least as "creative" as I can. I'd like to write short stories someday, but right now it's turning out to be hacked up poetry crap and stuff that would flow well in song form. I wrote a short poem about spiders that I'm sort of fond of. I won't post it here because it's embarrassing. No one will ever read that one. But anyhow, it's nice to write, it's an awesome outlet.

The 4th of July weekend was awesome. Good drinks with a great friend on Friday, a kickass sandwich, Twilight Zone putting me to bed and the following morning was spent with another 6 hours of the Twilight Zone. I left the next afternoon for the city and spent some time with Drew, Joe, Mick, Jesse, Laura, Danielle, and Sarah. We BBQ'd and drank some beers, then piled in some sober cars and drove to Glenside to watch some fireworks. I'm a fan. I like shitty fireworks better than crazy elaborate fireworks. I'm a pretty simple guy, believe it or not. Ha. I sat up late talking to Jesse (Blatz, Criminals, runs Alternative Tentacles records) about what the hell "Summer Casual" means. He got me all figured out, and it should be a pretty interested wardrobe for the wedding. I'm very excited for Saturday to see Zeke and Dawn "tie the knot" and spend the evening with friends having some dinner, drinks, watching some dancing and sharing the night with some wonderful people. I'm nervous, but I think that's probably more than normal.

Today was Brian's birthday. That son of a bitch turned 28 and I gave him a few records for his gift. He seemed happy. He went out to dinner with his parents and came back in pretty good spirits. That dude doesn't seem like he's having all that much fun sometimes, but he was in a good mood today and that goes a long way with me.

I don't think I've got much else to say right now. I slept for 3 hours in the middle of the day and it's going to totally ruin sleeping tonight. I'm pissed. Another night of no sleep. Oh well. I'll get back on a schedule tomorrow provided I don't fall asleep in the middle of the late afternoon again.

I need to do three things: (in no certain order)

Be brutally honest about everything
Be confident in everything I do
Never forget that my life is going to be lived for me

That's all kids! Have a blast. You're running out of time to make this year the best year of your life, and if you fuck it all up you've only got yourself to blame.